Grieving and Healing in Barbados
Hello and warm greetings to all of you Barbados lovers,
My sister passed away on May 14. I didn’t know – no one did – until May 16. That day I awoke in a panic and knew something was horribly wrong with Brooks. She and I had planned to meet the next day to attend my daughter Rachel’s graduation from Barnard.
Meeting in New York was a favorite activity for us; we called it a Sisters-Sisters holiday because my two daughters and Brooks and I would all stay together in the same hotel room and pal around, enjoying the city and celebrating sisters & sisters together.
I hadn’t been able to reach Brooks since mid-afternoon on Thursday May 14. But that wasn’t unusual. Brooks is young, beautiful, vivacious, and popular. But to not reach her Saturday morning, the day before we were to leave for New York – her from Miami and me from Barbados – was odd. We should have been on the phone talking about travel things: what to wear to the graduation, confirming details of meeting at our hotel in Manhattan, and so on. After the graduation, Brooks and I were going to take Amtrak train down the east coast to Washington, D.C. to see the sites there.
However, instead of going to New York to meet Brooks, I took the 6:30 Sunday morning flight to Miami, my husband Greg by my side. I had learned from the Miami Beach police the night before that my sister Brooks had passed away at her home, probably on Thursday.
A few days ago I returned from Miami Beach and the Florida Keys where Brooks had built her real estate business. I feel like I’m living in molasses; I find it difficult to move. Greg plans an outing each day so that I’m forced to get myself made up and out of the house. The other day it was a tour of the Mount Gay rum factory; isn’t that adorable? What a wonderful partner Greg is to me.
On the flight returning home to Barbados from Miami, I thought about this blog, how shallow and unimportant discussing fun little things about Barbados is.
I don’t feel that way any longer. Each night since I’ve been back I’ve sat by the sea … my favorite spot on earth is Carlisle Bay … Greg and I walk the beach then sit by the sea and watch the sun set, rum punch and diet Coke – our favorite beverages, purchased at the yacht club – in hand. The sea sings its constant, gentle music against the shore. Greg and I talk. We talk about beauty and life and god and Brooks. These evenings in Barbados are helping heal my broken heart.
My contemplations by the sea’s edge cause me to rethink this blog. It’s not silly. And it does matter. All blogs that talk about cultures, experiences, and meeting new people matter. Why? Because doing the silly things such blogs suggest cause us to interact with people and cultures. And in doing so, we learn about ourselves, make memories with our families and friends, and savor each moment we have… this is living life.
Let’s live it. Now, while we have the chance.
11 Responses to “Grieving and Healing in Barbados”
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What a thoughtful, beautiful post. And a wonderful philosophy behind it as well. Welcome back – we’ve missed you!
Jane,
I am so sorry for your loss – I had worried about you since you hadn’t posted in so long. Take comfort with Greg and treasure the moments spent with eachother and remember your sister with fond memories.
My thoughts are with you.
Hugs
Diane & Malc
Dear B.F.F.
So sorry to hear of your sisters passing. Your heart must be shattered.
“When you are sorrowful look again in you heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”
Kahlil Gibran
edie
Dear Jane & Greg,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your dearest Brooks.What a terrible
emotional upheaval.I never considered your blog insignificant,
I see it as more important now than ever.
Rod M.
Hi Jane, It was good to read your blog and see you’re writing again. Also to know you’re doing better each day. Been thinking about you. Hope to see you soon. Sue
Jane I too was bit worried without a post in so long, my deepest condolences to you and Greg.
Z
I also had been wondering where you were … missed your posts. I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. You have certainly expressed beautifully the grieving/healing process you are going through. I hope the sea continues to bring you comfort and beautiful memories.
my condolences. the pain of losing someone close is really difficult to deal with, so many memories, but being unable to talk with that person ever again. i dealt with the same thing last year. my prayers go with you and your family.
Dear Jane:
I too was wondering what had happened to you. I check this blog every day. Yes it does matter. Why? Because people like me who love Barbados check it daily for your posts. This blog is like taking a little vacation to Barbados from where ever you are in the world. I am sorry for the lost of your sister. Your friend Edie said it best with the quote from Kahil Gibran. There is nothing more calming and relaxing than the sea. I wish you peace and love in your grieving process. I am glad you are back. I too missed you.
Rainy
Dear Jane-
Laura and I wish you peace and love~
Our Condolences to you, Greg , and your Families.
Please keep writing your blog, I agree with Rainy
completely~
Aloha~
Kieran and Laura
I was terribly sorry to hear your news.
I do hope you will continue writing.